If You Think Your Love Life Is Bad, I Dare You To Read These 29 First Date Flops That Had People Running Out The Door, Blocking Numbers, And Deleting The Apps

  1. “The story of my best friend is the finest. Her date informed her that he was a writer working on a book about women. The first chapter, according to him, is titled “Don’t Flatter Yourself.” He continued by explaining to her how women believe they are superior to everyone else and how his book will help with some of their “annoying issues.”
  1. “We went to a nearby lakeside park to meet. In the lake, he threw my shoe. It would be humorous, he thought. It wasn’t. At least he got the sneaker back. I had to enter with my squishy shoe myself because it was destroyed, he was too poor to get cheap shoes from the convenience store nearby, and I wasn’t giving him my card or money.”
Date Flops
  1. “A song he composed for his former partner was available on YouTube. Once I got home, I looked it up and saw that it was a rendition of Taylor Swift’s “Love Story,” with the lyrics tweaked to focus on them. He had also produced a full music video for it, in which he ran through the outdoors, scaling trees, and other things.”
  1. “My date was obsessed with braiding my hair, haha. His persistent questions were strange at first, but they weren’t a deal-breaker. During our first encounter, he paused me mid-story as we were strolling through the park and asked, “Could I please braid your hair?” He kept interrupting and requesting to braid my hair, so I chuckled, politely replied no, and carried on speaking. He just replied, “I just want to braid it,” when I asked why, and he continued to grab for my head. When it didn’t work, I informed him I was ready to go home and smacked his hand away a couple more times. It was quite eerie.”
  1. “My date refused to clip his toenails, claiming he purposefully grew them long as he liked to use them to scrape his legs. “I no longer have to stoop so low.” I was able to view them. People, I took off. I bolted.”
  2. “He spilled beer on his menu and slurped it off with his mouth.”
  1. “It seems that she assumed that I would drive her to the hospital for a procedure she had not informed me about, leave her kids overnight, bring her back to her place, and take care of her house and babysitting duties while she recovered. I had not even met her children yet. It came about after ONE DATE. A second date was not scheduled. She also failed to comprehend my resistance to all of this, saying that “you’re my boyfriend now, and that’s what boyfriends do.”
  1. “On our first date, he brought all of his graded university papers, which he read out in the coffee shop, one by one. It was so terrible that I wanted to dig my own grave, although I’m not sure if he was boasting—he did receive great marks.”
Date Flops
  1. “At first glance, he appeared to be an Ivy League lawyer. Then, going even deeper, he was the father of six children by five distinct women. His ex-girlfriend despised him so much that she fled with their children to Germany. And the worst of it? His youngest child, who was six months old, was dozing off on his former spouse’s sofa.”
  1. “During their first date, he answered his mother’s calls both times. He informed me at the end of the date that he and his mother had recently moved into a beautiful apartment.”
  1. “Went out for drinks with a guy who was constantly talking about how his therapist’s office was a ‘perfect 10’ and how he wished he had the guts to ask her out. He accompanied me to my bus station and waited until my bus arrived. He asked if we might go out while we waited. He had talked about his crush for the most of our evening, so I started laughing out loud. A month later, I got a call from him asking me out once more. It was easier for me to turn him down because I was already seeing someone.”
  1. “She had a husband. After meeting at a bar, we both went out. went to a movie, had dinner, and stayed the night. She requested me to give her a ride to work the following morning and remarked, “I wonder if my husband figured out I didn’t come home.” I gave her a ticket for failing to put on her seatbelt.
  1. “We met on a dating app, so it was our first time meeting in person. When he came into the pub, he chose to lick my face rather than give me a hug or a handshake. SMELL MY FACE. After that, he took a seat and spoke exclusively about how he needed to get laid. I left early because I felt ashamed.”
  1. “He could enumerate the meals he would eat on one hand. Although he was a wonderful man, I couldn’t even consider going on a second date with him because I enjoy going to restaurants and we had already exhausted the one in the area where he would eat everything.”
  1. “She revealed to me that she coaches Christian lives. She then tried to explain who I was and why after asking what my personality type was.
  1. “After a fantastic date, I went home and Googled him. It turns out that ten years prior, he had been arrested for installing a camera in the women’s restroom of his dentist office. He performed dental surgery. I’m still in shock that I kissed that guy. Very disgusting.”
Date Flops
  1. “He admitted to having a tickle fetish on our first date, and he didn’t think I was telling the truth when I said I wasn’t ticklish. He thus tried to surprise me with a tickle for the following four hours.”
  1. “I was asked to cover his legal fees.” I wanted to end the date since I thought that was a turn off. He threatened to tell everyone in the restaurant that I was cheating on him and having an affair if I left, I said my goodbyes. Out of humiliation, I decided to stay. After apologizing, I made my way to the bathroom and then out the door. I fled a little when I looked back and saw him chasing after me after he noticed me through the window.”
  1. “He mentioned he didn’t have any children before our first date. After our first date, he told me that he hated letting his baby mama use his car because she always messed with the radio stations and that it took forever to get his seat back to his preferred position. He said this while driving me home. I hadn’t dated anyone with children when I’d graduated from high school. Given how impolite he had been on our date, learning that he was a parent was a deal-breaker for me right away. Then, when I blocked his number, he continued to text and contact me, and he kept making new social media profiles in an attempt to reach me because he was interested in going on another date. He would not stop telling me how rich he was and how foolish I would be to turn him down.”
  1. “A restaurant is where we met. Everything went OK, but he told the waitress that I would be placing the order when we were placing it, then he would watch me eat and place his order when I was almost done. I quickly got up from that table.”
  1. “That not one, but two of his ex-girlfriends had restraining orders against him. On our first date, he also inquired about moving in with me.”
  1. “She looked up my location and the type of life I led in the neighborhood before our first date, and she informed me that she ‘liked the park immediately across the street’ from my house during our date. I never gave her my address, even though she lived a half-hour away and had never been to my town before.”
  1. “I discovered his Twitter account and noticed that in addition to his dislike of women and passion for soccer, he had tweeted about me and my remark about how stupid he thought I was and that I didn’t like a certain singer. promptly ghosted him.”
  1. “He informed me that he had chosen the names for our children and that he was eager to start a family with me. He emphasized that it was my responsibility as a woman and that it would make me very happy when I told him that this was our first date, that I wasn’t sure about having children, and that I thought this was a rather disturbing thing to say to me. Yes, a second date was not arranged.”
Date Flops
  1. “Our date was interrupted when her other guy arrived up. “May I speak with him for a moment?” she said. I nodded, turned to leave, and never looked back.”
  1. “He asked me to call his girlfriend to tell her we would be together now.”
  1. “He still was in a relationship and wanted to ‘teach her a lesson’ before breaking up and ‘starting things’ with me.”
  1. “He wouldn’t quit discussing his thesis movie. He talked about his thesis film the entire date. And, well, I understand the topic coming up because we were both film students, even though our institutions are different, but I spoke for maybe ten percent of the two hours that we were together. He didn’t even pose a question to me. I think I only got to ask him one or two questions because he would simply move on to the next thing without even giving me a chance to speak. It was as if I were tuning into a podcast about a dull thesis movie. He stated we should do it again at some point by the end of the date. Let’s just say that we didn’t.”
  1. Lastly: “We never even went on our first date. He started messaging me as I was leaving the house to meet him at the restaurant we had decided to go to, asking if he should come get me instead. I’m usually pretty careful, so I gently declined. After that, he started bombarding my phone with fast texts and calls. Every few seconds or so, my words sound fresh. Many of them insisted that I reveal my address to him. He must have messaged me more than fifty times and called me at least ten times in a row. I banned and erased his number because I became so frightened. I made a U-turn and spent the night at a friend’s.”

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Aria Skylark


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