Every town has that one person who’s just a little different, whether it’s the guy who makes statues out of sheet metal or the local diner owner who also happens to run a cat shelter out of their home. They are the kind of people that give a place its character and soul. In a town in Colorado, they have Vince Rozmiarek, who erects funny signs to brighten up people’s days. Here are some of his most recent and funniest signs to date – and they’re sure to make you laugh out loud!
Someone’s Getting Scolded
Although this pun is quite humorous, it hurts a little bit. We shudder at the thought of leaving the front door open because we are aware of how expensive heating expenses may get. Vince penned, “My landlord would like to discuss the expensive heating costs. My door is always open, I told him. Picture yourself answering this when your landlord approaches you to inquire about the bill.
At the very least, we hope, you would receive a somewhat astonished look before being reprimanded and required to clarify that you weren’t indeed leaving the front door open.
You Can’t Not Laugh At This
Vince is well-known for his witty jokes. It’s kind of his signature, and this sign is no exception. We’re not sure how he thought of this one, but if there are any fruit growers in the area, this sign is sure to have made them giggle. It says, “Fruit farmers eat what they can and can what they can’t.” Put differently, it alludes to the fact that they can produce a large amount of fruit.
To be honest, you don’t actually need to be a fruit farmer to find humor in this pun. Everyone who saw it on the road probably laughed a little bit.
In It For The Long Haul
Any addiction requires a great deal of willpower to overcome. What kind of program or approach you decide to use for assistance is irrelevant. Though we’re happy to see Vince taking action against his addiction to hiking, it appears he still has some work ahead of him based on this pun. Imagine how he will feel when he gets home—he hasn’t even made it out of the woods yet.
On the other hand, we kind of feel him on this one, to be honest. Reducing the amount of time spent on the lake or in the woods can be difficult. Fortunately, we are spared. Perhaps there’s a problem for us?
Another Incredible Pun
This is probably one of our favorites on this list just because it’s so clever. It reads, “I bought a fake koi fish… It’s my dekoi.” The best puns are simple and surprising. Who doesn’t love koi fish and couldn’t relate to this one? Now, every time we come across a koi pond, we’re going to be thinking about this joke and maybe even checking out the koi to make sure they’re all real.
Honestly, if you’re lucky enough to have a koi pond at home, it isn’t a bad idea to put a dekoi in there to fool birds and other predators.
Truer Words Have Never Been Spoken
The fact that this sign makes us think of our childhood hide-and-seek games is one of the reasons we love it so much. Really, when was the last time you were a player? In any case, there are two ways to interpret this indication. Vince might be grumbling about not being able to play hide-and-seek with anyone else, on the one hand. We sympathize with him on that.
However, it’s possible that he’s realizing how difficult it is to locate people who are exceptionally skilled at hide-and-seek, which is why this sign is so fantastic.
Here’s A Pun For Hawaii
Everyone has probably heard the term “aloha” at some point. In Hawaiian, it’s used to say hello and farewell. But if you dissect it as Vince did, you can make a pun out of it, like “Hawaii is a low ha state, so laughing aloud is prohibited.” Put differently, it’s a condition in which they laugh softly. This is quite clever, and it’s not how we’ve ever thought of aloha before.
Of course, if you’ve ever gone to Hawaii, you probably already know that everyone there loves to laugh, even if it’s just silently.
So, It Was All Just A Dream?
Vince the sign guy had another hit here. “When you dream in color, it’s a pigment of your imagination.” Although he’s parodying the expression “a figment of your imagination,” we think this one is equally good. Is it really possible to fathom having color-only dreams? Even so, how would that even be? Would there be patterns or images? How about language? It’s possible that Vince has discovered something surprisingly profound here.
Along with making people laugh and enjoying their day, he can definitely add stimulating serious thought to his repertoire of abilities. It’s not a bad skill set to possess.
Something Sticky Is Going On Here
We want to know exactly what Vince did to deserve this kind of attention. It’s a little dubious to glue something to a handgun, especially if it’s inside or close to the chamber. Vince adds, “I believe my spouse is attaching adhesive to my weapons.” She disputes it, but I won’t back down.” It’s easy to picture someone’s hand becoming stuck to a gun or rifle and not being able to get free.
One of the last things you would want your hand bonded to, in our opinion, is a handgun, particularly if you have to enter a hospital to need medical attention.
It Had An Exam Coming Up
When we initially saw this, we laughed quite a bit. To obtain it, though, you must be familiar with Adderall. The medication used to help people with ADHD focus better is called Adderall. Thus, when Adderall was left in the Ford Fiesta, it became a Ford Focus instead of a party vehicle. We love Ford cars, so maybe we’re just easily entertained, but it’s a brilliant idea.
Still, it made us pause and consider. For the firm to have models like as the Fiesta, Focus, Escape, and Explorer, its naming scheme must be incredibly arbitrary. All of them are just verbs.
Sounds Like An Episode Of “Cops”
To be honest, this pun may occur in real life and most likely has. For whatever reason, we might witness a man leading police on a car pursuit or escaping through a field while just wearing his underwear. We’re pretty sure this kind of pursuit scene was included in almost every episode of Cops. Imagine being a police officer and trying to apprehend a suspect who is only wearing boxers.
Honestly, depending on exactly what they did, of course, we’d probably prefer to just chase them and let them go. Whether you wanted to or not, you would sometimes have to face them head-on.
The Ultimate Debate: Tea Or Coffee?
When you get come down to it, people who drink tea and coffee have this peculiar relationship that’s neither warm nor antagonistic. Perhaps it’s because coffee has perhaps surpassed tea as the preferred beverage for the majority of people worldwide these days. For whatever reason, this sign gave us the giggles. He said, “I got booted from the coffee club because I wore a tea shirt.”
Although it raises an interesting point, it also raises the issue of what precisely is acceptable attire for the coffee club. Are formal shirts and long sleeves the only options? Seems very sophisticated to us.
Education Is The Key To Success
There’s something somewhat fascinating about boarding school, even though we know that most of the students who go probably don’t want to be there and that it’s usually nothing like what you see in movies and on television. If you’re looking in from the outside, at least. Apart from that, Vince the sign guy did a really smart word play with the word “boarding” from boarding school.
Sent to boarding school, we’re sure you learn more than just how to board an aircraft, but again, we’ve never gone, so perhaps it’s all overrated.
It’s Good To Reflect On Work From Time To Time
It may surprise you to learn that there is a profession that involves inspecting mirrors. Alternatively, there exist individuals that repair antique mirrors. Vince wrote this sign that says, “Inspecting mirrors is a job I could really see myself doing.” Perhaps that is what he was alluding to. To be honest, that sounds like a very cool job, but spending all day staring at oneself seems like it might become old.
Something like that would take a somewhat narcissistic person to appreciate. For hours on end, you’re alone with your reflection as you slowly perform whatever task mirror inspectors perform.
Cut Out The Adjectives And Adverbs
Many people are unaware of the significance of having an editor. It’s crucial, regardless of whether the editor works with text or images and video. They essentially follow the instructions on this sign, eliminating all unnecessary details and providing only the essential information. Is there an editor for Vince the sign guy?
If that’s the case, they excelled at punny writing by keeping it brief and pleasant. As it should, it omits the protracted backstory and goes directly to the punchline.
But Did He Walk Or Drive?
If you’ve ever worked with paint, you are aware that paint thinner essentially accomplishes its name. It aids in thinned out overly thick paint. Moreover, it can aid in oil-based paint cleaning. Vince may or may not have known that before going to the store to get some, but based on this sign, it appears that he was somewhat depressed when he got home. Not to worry, though; a few hundred more journeys and he might begin to show results.
All it takes to lose weight is perseverance and determination, which Vince presumably possesses in abundance. He needs to in order to consistently produce so many amusing gestures.
A Pun For Science Lovers
This one necessitates some science understanding. It says, “I wanted to marry a carbon 14 expert, but all she wanted to do was date.” A radioactive isotope called carbon 14 is used to date very old things. But bad Vince can also suggest that the expert was content to just go on dates rather than get married. It’s a really brilliant pun, and jokes with scientific connections are our favorite thing.
It does, however, raise the question of what the specialist is really dating. We venture that would undoubtedly be among the most exciting careers available, offering a plethora of diverse experiences.
A Fulfilling Hobby
Here’s another pun in which Vince the sign man might have unintentionally discovered some true insight. He stated, “It doesn’t make any cents but volunteering is rewarding.” It is accurate. Volunteering won’t even get you a penny, but that isn’t the goal. Most people volunteer because it’s a fulfilling activity and gives them a feeling of direction. While it’s wonderful to help others, you can’t help others if you don’t feel good about yourself.
The sign man impresses us one more. We wouldn’t be shocked if a few drivers were motivated by this sign to actually go out and give their time to a worthy cause.
Not All Interest Is Good
When someone shows interest in you, it’s usually a positive thing. It could indicate that you’re on the correct track. For good reason, though, we hardly ever hear people express happiness at being approached by bankers. This sign is actually a smart joke that offers financial advice. It says, “Being in debt attracts a lot of interest from bankers.” He obviously refers to financial interest in this context.
Ultimately, this is how companies get revenue from loans, among other things. The lesson of the story is to strive to avoid taking on excessive debt because doing so would result in high interest payments.
We’ve All Been Here Before
It’s unquestionably one of the most annoying things in the world to enter a space or a place and forget why you’re there. Fortunately, it appears Vince the sign guy has found a solution to that irksome issue. “I wear memory foam insoles to remember why I walked into the next room,” he wrote in his letter. It’s a joke, of course, but one we genuinely hope might succeed.
Regretfully, memory foam insoles only contribute to your feet’s and back’s comfort, which is probably for the best. All we need now is something similar for the brain.
Someone’s In The Doghouse
Here’s another incredibly creative joke that, when we first read it, had us laughing aloud. Although Vince’s exact actions are unknown, it had to be something terrible because he said, “I married my wife for her looks, but not the ones I’m getting lately.” It sounds like he made a big mistake, so he most likely deserves all of the strange stares he’s receiving. We still find ourselves pitying him a little bit.
Hopefully, this is only a tough patch that can be resolved quickly between the two. Until then, Vince’s wife and other drivers who are passing by will likely give him a lot more strange stares.
This Scenario Is Actually Pretty Frightening
For some reason, as soon as we read this, we were reminded of the Star Troopers movie. Perhaps it’s the thought of enormous bugs. In any case, Vince wrote, “The town is in danger from flying insects! The SWAT team is sent in by the police. For the cops to send out a SWAT team, those bugs would need to be enormous. Even if he’s playing off “swat” in this instance, it still gives us the creeps.
Additionally, it’s kind of fascinating how he phrased it like a headline, leaving out the story in the final sentence and giving us a flashback to those vintage newspapers.
Hope It “Peels” Better
Even though this joke is kind like low-hanging fruit, we still think it’s hilarious. The sign reads, “The banana went to the doctor because it wasn’t peeling well.” Peeling was used in place of “feeling,” in case you missed it. You are aware, as you have peeled a banana. Though we know everything will work out, we would still wish the banana well. One of the healthiest fruits available is the banana.
Since it must be difficult to think of this many puns and jokes, we must honestly inquire where Vince the sign guy gets his inspiration from.
Sounds Like A Match Made In Heaven
As this sign puts it, “tooth and nail” refers to the dispute between the dentist and manicurist, which is not surprising as every married pair has arguments. Given that these are two professions that offer quite common services, this actually seems like a really great match. You would be set for life if one of your parents was a manicurist and the other a dentist. All you need to get started is a family member who is a stylist or barber and possibly a trainer.
Just think of all the money you could save by not having to pay for a dentist visit on your own. In addition to the high cost of braces alone, those cleanings can mount up.
When You Take Things A Little Too Literal
Someone like this is known to all. When you ask them to execute a basic chore or tell them something, they interpret it too literally. “My wife told me to put ketchup on the shopping list,” the placard says. I can’t read anything right now.” He merely smeared ketchup all over the list, even though she meant for him to go get some at the store. Perhaps that explains why she was upset with him in a few other indicators on this list.
If anything, it’s better than covering the list with ketchup that he didn’t make it to the grocery store and just forgot to pick it up.
Sounds Like An Unappreciative Guest
Since we eat our salads that way, to be honest, the first thing that came to mind when we read this were ethical issues about Vince feeding his bird another chicken. But it appears like he simply used leafy greens and no animal protein to make his chicken salad. The chicken clearly disregarded it and carried on clucking since he soon erected this sign.
If he had included some berries or seeds, he might have been able to convince the bird to eat the meal, but they won’t ever come into contact with lettuce or other greens.
Why Else Would You Be There?
We may be totally off base here, but we’ve always believed that the goal of seeing a therapist was to address problems relating to emotional dysphoria. Yes, there are probably a few more reasons, but this is the main one that connects the majority of them. We’re not sure how we would feel if we were paying someone as much as some therapists make and they returned with this information.
Naturally, that fact alone is probably one of the main reasons we would be seeing a therapist in the first place.
Time To Raise The Roof
Here’s another one of Vince the sign man’s incredibly creative signs. It says, “This weekend is the women’s roofing expo.” There will be shingle ladies in abundance.” The elements and moisture are kept out of a roof by the shingles covering the uppermost layer. If you’ve ever installed a roof, you most likely have pleasant recollections of hauling bulky, heavy shingles up a ladder and onto rooftops.
Even though it’s not an easy task, having a party with “shingle” ladies seems like a good time. It’s a good thing they had it set for the weekend because staying up late is the last thing you want to do after roofing all day.
Day Rates Do Tend To Be Cheaper
Here, we’re a little sorry for Vince. He may have a UTI given his high nitrate levels, and if you’ve ever had one, you know how excruciating they can be. But we fail to understand how moving to day rates will be beneficial. Joking aside, this sign is another example of a creative pun that uses “nitrates” instead of “night rates.” In essence, he claims the doctor informed him that his nighttime rates are excessive.
That perhaps he mistook the doctor’s assessment that his nitrate levels were elevated. Again, UTIs may be painful, so we hope this is the first one for his sake.
Cue Punchline Drum Sound
We adore this even though it sounds like the kind of joke Siri would say. “What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t return?” is written on the sign. a stick. It makes sense in multiple ways and is straightforward but intelligent. If a boomerang doesn’t come back, it’s just a stick. Additionally, the word “stick” denotes a more or less stationary position. Consider anything sticky, for instance.
Not to be sidetracked, we think boomerangs are one of the greatest inventions ever, and you can’t convince us otherwise. It’s a carved wood fragment that pierces the atmosphere and comes back.
Still Better Than Not Taking Karate At All
It can be challenging to comprehend the level of difficulty involved in martial arts if you have never participated in athletics. It’s kind of crazy how much technique and fitness there is to learning martial arts. Vince getting a black eye is quite natural, but it can also be a little risky and you might be hurt once or twice while practicing, just like in any other sport.
We only hope that doesn’t stop him from training and improving because learning martial arts has far more advantages than disadvantages, like getting a black eye.
When They Still Made Real Music
Consider how sometimes it seems like modern music is divided into two eras: before the Beatles and after the Beatles. This is a good way to illustrate exactly how influential the Beatles were. The words on this placard say, “Larva was a great band before the Beatles emerged.” The Beatles’ name and the notion that insects begin as larvae are both parodies in the sign. Though it’s clever and humorous, we’re extremely excited to hear the larvae’s song now.
Interesting fact: The Beatles got their name from a movie called The Beetles, which was about a motorcycle gang. For all of you movie buffs, Marlon Brando starred in the film.
It’s Not His Time Yet
The notion that the James Bond series has been around for what feels like forever is as amusing as this sign. It’s a good thing that they genuinely take the position of 007 in the movie plots since they would have become extremely elderly by now if there had only been one agent for the entire series. The banner says, “James Bond sports gray hair in his latest film ‘No Time To Dye’.”
The sign alludes to a different James Bond movie, No Time To Die. In case you missed it, he replaced the word “die” with “dye.”
There’s Something Adorable About The Thought Of This
Though we’re not huge ants fans—especially not fire ants—the idea of tiny “anty” bodies is somehow endearing. Perhaps this is due to the way he spelled it. “Because they have small bodies, ants never get sick,” was written by Vince, the sign guy. We would not be shocked if ants actually never got sick, given how incredibly strong they are and all the other things they can accomplish.
For some reason, this joke will stick in our heads forever—even if anti-body was mispronounced as “anty” in this instance.
Sounds Like A Tough Act To Follow
The fact that there is a band named The Hinges in existence may be the funniest thing about this sign. We looked it up on Google because we thought it sounded like a band name, and sure enough, it does. Anyhow, The Hinges was also the name of Vince’s band. They ended up opening for The Doors, who at one point were among the most well-liked acts worldwide. Vince, the man with the sign, has had an amazing life.
Although opening for such a large act is difficult, we’re sure they did a great job. To be completely honest, is it really possible for bands with names like these to go on tour together?
This One Took Us Awhile
To be honest, there are moments when a joke just eludes you, but this was the only one on the list that actually required some time to understand. It’s just so simple to overlook the “and” in this instance. It says, “To spell the word panda, you just need P and A.” Combining all of them results in the term “panda.” However, when we initially examined it, we questioned if P and A would be sufficient.
As it happened, this sign proved to be too much for us. Interesting fact: The term “panda” is Nepalese in origin and means “eater of bamboo.” There are several synonyms for the word in Mandarin.
The Real Question Is Who Has More Horsepower?
Even though we now own cars, horses are still utilized for a few purposes, such as racing and by mounted police. It also prompts the question, “Do race horses slow down when they see police horses?” because they were mostly employed for pleasure or to go around in rural areas. We don’t know, and we’re not even positive that there are speed restrictions for horseback riders.
Horse speed limitations used to exist in areas like big towns and cities, according to a simple Google search, but we’re not sure if those regulations are still in effect.
This Sign Technically Isn’t Wrong
The Wright brothers were the first to construct and pilot an airplane, as is well known. But we’ve heard false claims that the achievement belongs to Henry Ford, the man who established the Ford Motor Company. Although they both lived in the same era, Ford wasn’t very interested in aviation at the time. Rather, he would go on to invent innovations like the assembly line, which allowed vehicles to become cheap for the first time.
In addition, he was among the first to introduce the five-day workweek, which replaced the earlier six-day and seventy-hour workweek. That being said, the statement on the sign reads, “It wouldn’t have been Wright if Ford had invented the airplane
Time To Cut Back On Subscription Services
These days, subscription services are widely available, and sometimes they’re just becoming more expensive versions of television channels with advertisements. But we’re getting off topic. We can really relate to Vince, the sign guy, and how he felt when he posted this. The words on the sign said, “Please cancel my subscription to your issues.” It appears that he has grown weary of hearing someone whine a bit too much.
A small amount of venting is acceptable, but there’s a thin line between venting and being completely nasty about everything. The latter is intolerable, and we understand him in this situation.
Maybe He Can Tap Into His Savings
When Vince’s neighbor saw this placard, he or she most likely thought, “Way to put me on the spot.” The word “well” is used in a creative way to refer to both a physical well from which water can be drawn and a state of being. The sign says, “My neighbor couldn’t afford his water bill, so I got him a get well soon card.” You won’t have to pay a water bill if you own your own well.
However, most localities require you to purchase an expensive pump and pay a fee in order to drill down and determine whether or not there is water below your property.
An Example Of Flawless Logic:
This sign is one of those things that you just can’t argue with. “If you wear a sweater and sweat are you the sweater?” It is readable. At least in language, we would say, “Yeah, you are, and you and the sweater are now one.” Once more, Vince the sign man has us considering some extremely profound issues that almost seem like puns or jokes as well as philosophical inquiries.
Furthermore, have you ever observed that the term “sweater” is about the least appealing name ever for a piece of apparel? There is absolutely nothing enjoyable about donning a “sweater.”
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