A well-crafted joke can greatly enhance a boring conversation. What about the clever lines that veer into unsettling and dark areas, though?
Darkly humorous remarks can occasionally offend a more delicate person and are frequently thought-provoking and contentious. Conversely, finding humour in serious circumstances can help people feel better and cope with difficult circumstances better.
You will definitely enjoy our compilation of 100 dark humour jokes if you enjoy edgy one-liners. Give these jokes to other fans of dark humour so they can laugh at your seedy side. But be aware that we cover some difficult ground.
Best Dark Humor Jokes
If you’re a wicked funny person, these dark jokes on our list will make you giggle uncontrollably. Make others wince while you laugh evilly.
1. “I informed my therapist that I was thinking about suicide. I should pay in advance, he urged.
2. “Why are cemeteries devoid of Wi-Fi? when a queue of people is already waiting to enter.
3. “My wife gave me a hug after I told her to accept her mistakes.”
4. “I was told by my doctor not to drink, but he didn’t say it would be out of a paper bag.”
5. “I once requested a favour from the Grim Reaper. Yes, but it will cost you an arm and a leg, he replied.
6. “My ex was struck by a car the other day.” Astonished by the information, I shifted into reverse and struck her once more.
7. “I’ll always remember the last words my grandfather said.” “Stop shaking the ladder,” he commanded. I guess this isn’t the greatest moment for a joke.
8. “They say you should treat each day as if it were your last. I’m eating cake by myself and ignoring everyone as though this is my final birthday. Issue resolved!
9. “I was asked to explain to others why I had so many skeletons in my closet. They are too big to fit under the bed anymore, but I’m too lazy to toss them out, so I keep them there.
- “I was asked to go bungee jumping by a buddy. “The last thing I want to do is become attached to someone who will disappoint me,” I murmured.
Dark Jokes on Death and Mortality
Speaking about death may make you look foolish or annoy people, but deep down, everyone will relate to it because there’s no way out of it, so why not enjoy yourself to the fullest?
“I want to die during a stand-up routine so that everyone can say that I killed it,”
2. “Even though I like to think I can put him on “read” for a little while, death is inevitable for all of us.”
3. “My friend requested to be cremated in a note he left behind. I pondered whether he wanted to burn bridges even in death, or if it was just to make sure he would be warm.
- “What makes us fear the Death Angel? Consider him to be your sleep therapist; his only goal is to ensure that you have eternal rest.
- “I plan to just ghost everyone when I die because I’ve never been good at saying goodbye.” Isn’t that reasonable enough?
- “I cornered the funeral director to get a discount on Uncle Frank’s burial spot when he passed away. “Sorry, it’s a dead-end deal,” the man said, slamming the door as he declined.
- “According to my Uncle Frank, he desired to be buried in his beloved beer cup. That implies that once he passes away, he will be Frank in Stein.
8. “They claim that nothing you take with you when you go. I still packed my suitcases and all of my black outfits out of nostalgia just in case.
9. “I’m not committing anything to anyone, not even death. My tombstone will say ‘BRB.'”
10. “I hope death is wearing a Hawaiian shirt if I ever meet him.” I can be sure we’re heading somewhere warm that way.
Dark Jokes on Illness and Suffering
Though dark jokes about disease can come across as bitter pills, they are funny and infectious, and the laughter that follows is therapeutic. Remember to use them with caution!
“Having a cold is a great way to avoid people; it’s similar to social distancing, but with extra snot.”
2. “I’m just happy we’re all getting used to the idea that handshakes are basically biohazards after two years of the pandemic.”
3. “My physician advised me to maintain a positive outlook on my health. I responded, “Yes, but didn’t I think we were attempting to avoid testing positive for COVID?”
4. “I asked my therapist if it’s common to feel tired of everything.” “That’s just pandemic fatigue, or maybe the flu,” he remarked.
5. “I realise how hard it is to breathe fresh air when I sneeze in public and wonder if it’s COVID.”
6. “I enquired about receiving the monkeypox vaccination, wanting to know if it would shield me from cruel jokes.” Sadly, the response was not yes.
7. “I informed my supervisor that I wasn’t feeling well and couldn’t come in. “Don’t worry, since 2020, we’ve all felt dead inside,” he remarked.
8. “During the pandemic, I intended to catch up on my reading, but I ended up just getting existential dread.”
9. “It’s not worth getting if the disease doesn’t come with at least two weeks off,” this is my new policy.
10. “My spouse enquired about getting me a prescription for my lack of motivation. It’s termed a pandemic, not a cure, the doctor explained.
Dark Jokes on War and Tragedy
These powerful players are prepared for an exciting fight. Use these shrewd one-liners, which capitalise on humanitarian catastrophes, to play the role of historian.
1. “Those who are unfortunate enough to fight in war never change.
2. “I asked a historian to explain the distinction between tragedy and conflict. “Tragedy is when they forget to write history; war is when they write it,” he once quipped.
3. “I informed my friend that war is terrible. “At least in hell, you know where everyone stands,” he remarked.
4. “Trying to survive the peace that follows a war is the only thing worse than a war.”
5. “Why are there no winners in war?” I questioned. I heard someone say, “Because we’re all losers in the end.”
6. “The real battle is for the ones drawn in our minds, but wars are fought over lines on a map.”
7. “When your only hope is to survive in a conflict zone, you know it’s a bad day.”
8. “I used to believe that tragedies were limited to fictional stories.” I then switched on the news.
9. “They say that men are best shown in times of war.” I believe their greatest effort was made to conceal fear.
10. “I asked a soldier once how he handles going to combat. “One day at a time, but sometimes it seems like they go on forever,” he remarked.
Dark Jokes on Controversial Topics
You have what it takes to deliver these edgy punchlines if you dare to take on these subjects head-on. Checking to determine if your pal or lover can take these jokes is the ultimate loyalty test.
“They say you can’t buy happiness, but you can buy a lot of therapy and plane tickets to help you get by in the absence of it.”
2. “Everyone chooses what they want at a buffet and then judges what’s on your plate. That’s how religion works.”
3. “The nicest thing about conspiracy theories is that, up until you realise you’re the punchline, they make you feel like you’re in on the joke.”
4. “It’s like playing Russian roulette at family dinners—someone will lose, and everyone will regret it.”
5. “I want kids and I support abortion, especially when it comes to deciding not to bring up the subject at social gatherings,” says my profile.
6. “Sex education in school was always awkward—it was like watching Titanic to learn how to swim.”
7. “I mentioned to a dietician that I was considering becoming vegan. In response, the man says, “Remember that nobody cares.”
8. “Everyone has the right to their own opinion, but my wife feels she has the right to mine as well.”
9. “I asked a lawyer if the best policy is to be honest. “Only if you can afford the truth,” he stated.
10. “The best medicine, they say, is laughter, but it depends on what you’re dying of.”
Dark Jokes on Mental Health and Insanity
These absurdly funny dark jokes will make you chuckle and remember back on those terrible times. Try not to tell these jokes to someone who is frightened of the sinister overtones of mental insanity.
1. “My therapist advised me to list all of the childhood-related triggers for my feelings. My therapist’s mental health is my only concern right now.
2. “I told my psychiatrist that I felt like I was going insane and that I felt dead inside.” “Don’t worry, it’s working,” he remarked. You’re merely creating room for something fresh.
3. “I didn’t realise it would be more crazy than busy when I said I was ‘crazy busy.'”
4. “They say that the best medicine is laughter, but I think I’ve had too much of it.”
5. “I don’t know why, but I attempted meditation to help me relax. My mind is currently just debating silently.
6. “I wanted to know how my friend handled his nervousness. “I just keep it as a pet—it’s better trained than I am,” was his reply.
7. “I’ve joined an overthinking support group. Every night, we get together mentally.
8. “They advised me to maintain my optimism, so I just smile through the crazy.”
9. “I mentioned hearing voices to my therapist.” We’re good as long as they’re paying the rent, she remarked.
10. “There’s no waiting on the other side, but the line separating sanity and insanity is thin.”
Dark Jokes on Misfortune and Bad Luck
Accept the humour in your misfortunes and watch as your audience grows accustomed to your charming accidents. You might even attract the attention of someone who finds romantic or appealing self-deprecation.
1. “People wouldn’t die if I bought a cemetery; my luck is so bad.”
2. “Until I broke a mirror, lost my job, and encountered a black cat, I thought it strange that so many people think that bad luck exists. I’m simply waiting on the universe to give me a loyalty card right now.
3. “I wouldn’t have any luck if it weren’t for bad luck.”
4. “I think I just went full circle in my life, but I tried to turn it around.”
5. “There isn’t a black cloud chasing me. It resembles a never-ending storm more.
6. “Whenever I attempt to tally my blessings, I figure out the likelihood of another catastrophe.”
7. “I’m so unlucky that I thought it was a four-leaf clover when it was really just poison ivy.”
8. “They say that a door opens when another closes.” It is a trapdoor in my situation.
9. “My life is just a string of bad luck, but at least my story turns make it engaging.”
10. “I felt like I was at my lowest point, but life gave me a shovel.”
Dark Jokes on Absurdity and Irony
Like these puns, irony may be both ridiculously dark and excruciatingly funny.
1. “I purchased a stress ball in an attempt to reduce my anxiety, but now I’m worried that I squeezed it too tightly.”
2. “I think it’s strange that so many people don’t appreciate life’s ironies. They’re too exhausted to care by the time they’re old enough to comprehend it.
3. “I attended a self-help seminar, but the man in charge of it seemed as bewildered as I do. Join now to find out more.
4. “I visited a fortune teller, who informed me that I had an unclear future. The best $20 I have ever spent.
5. “We’re all in on it, but life’s a joke.”
6. “I felt smaller even though I tried to be the bigger person.”
7. “I realised my ladder of success was leaning against the wrong wall after years of climbing and holding it.”
8. “I only ended myself getting more lost in my quest to know myself. I’m now instructing others in the same way.
9. “The greatest thing about irony is that it always shows up just when you need it.”
10. “Life thought it was hilarious, but I tried to take it seriously.”
Dark Jokes on Cynicism and Nihilism
The ability to deliver a pessimistic or nihilistic punchline requires great comic skill. These are ridiculous jokes.
1. “I was an optimist once, but I’ve come to the conclusion that nothing matters.”
2. “We’re all going to the same finish line, so why chase your dreams and bucket lists?”
3. “Until the bills arrive, I’m just a passenger on this journey called life.”
4. “Someone told me that life is just a cosmic joke without a punchline when I asked what the meaning of life is.”
5. “My friend said, ‘I’m afraid of the light,’ when I told him to look on the bright side.”
6. “Life makes a pretty good mess on its own, but they say it’s what you make of it.”
7. “I think I just found the void staring back. I was looking for meaning in life.”
8. “I looked for the bright side, but all I could see was tin foil for my chicken sandwich.”
9. “I’m here just for the awkward silence after the punchline. Life’s a joke.”
10. “They say you only live once, but once is more than enough.”
Dark Jokes on Existentialism
Use these existential jokes widely to get people thinking about the important things in life.
“I’m just taking a nap because I had an existential crisis, had to make a difficult decision, and then realised it didn’t matter.”
2. “I believe that’s why I am unsure of whether this is still the best decision for me and why I am continuing to do this.”
3. “I stared into the abyss, seeking answers, but it merely shrugged and enquired about my life’s purpose.”
4. “I searched for purpose in life, but all I could find were unanswered texts, expired coupons and a ‘call mum’ note on the fridge.”
5. “I hate looking for things, and the more I search for life’s purpose, the more I realise this.”
6. “I asked life what the point was, and it told me that I still have a lot to learn about myself.”
7. “As I get older, I just hope the snacks are worth it. I used to wonder why I’m here.”
8. “I don’t even know what the question was, and life is just one big existential shrug.”
9. “I kept running into everything I was trying to avoid, like the Chinese restaurant across the street, when I tried to find myself.”
10. “I’ve come to terms with the fact that I will never understand life’s purpose, but at least I’m becoming good at existential banter.”
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