Recently, we collected the most hilarious parallels between J.D. Vance and Tim Walz, the vice presidential running partner, from this Reddit thread.
We just had to include the excellent ones that were in the comments as well because there were so many of them! The BuzzFeed Community’s top comparisons are shown below:
- “Tim Walz is the person who leaves a large tip after striking up a conversation with the waitress about her college courses. J.D. Vance returns his steak twice and tips with one of those tracts that resemble cash.”
- “The best Halloween candy is given out by Tim Walz. The creepy guy your parents warn you not to take anything from is J.D. Vance.”
- “Tim Walz is the one who, before heading out to the store, asks if anyone has any needs. The person who parks his cart in the middle of his space and then walks away is J.D. Vance.”
- “Your favourite treats will be included in care packages that Tim Walz will mail you. You will receive cease-and-desist letters from J.D. Vance.”
- “If you need a confidant, you go to Tim Walz, the teacher.” The person who overhears and informs the entire school is J.D.”
- “The person you share a beer with is Tim Walz. The person who drinks your beer if you get up to use the loo is J.D. Vance.”
- “If you need assistance putting your bag in the overhead bin, Tim Walz is the person to ask. If you can’t put your carry-on up there yourself, J.D. Vance is the guy who tells you not to bring it (as he stands there and watches you struggle).
- “Tim Walz will instruct football for second graders. The father on the side who is screaming at the fifth-grade referee is J.D. Vance.”
- “When you and your friend are having trouble bringing the couch inside, Tim Walz assists you. J.D. Vance manoeuvres ‘himself’ onto your sofa.
- “If you only have one or two things, Tim Walz is the guy in the checkout queue who will let you go ahead of him.” The man who checks out of the express line with a cart full of groceries is J.D. Vance.”
- “When you take your child to their cancer treatments, Tim Walz makes you a casserole twice a week. J.D. Vance casually sends his prayers and thoughts.”
- “In a public restroom, Tim Walz is the one who gets up, flushes and cleans the toilet seat. J.D. Vance is the person who gets up and leaves, leaving his mess on the floor, in the toilet, and all over the seat. He then complains to management about it.”
- “The person that makes the extra effort to hold the door open until you arrive is Tim Walz. Even if you are directly behind J.D. Vance, he lets everything slam in your face.”
- “The person who would offer you his final Diet Mountain Dew is Tim Walz. The person who would accept it and take only a few drinks is J.D. Vance.”
- “The guy who helps you get your car out of the snow is Tim Walz. The person who shovels out a parking space so that only he can use it is J.D. Vance.
- “A family in need will have a whole Christmas sponsored by Tim Walz. Santa isn’t real, J.D. Vance will explain to the children.”
- “The man who takes his neighbour to the doctor is Tim Walz. It’s J.D. Vance who denies him access to healthcare.”
- “While you’re on vacation, Tim Walz will water your grass. While you’re away, J.D. Vance will water his own grass and connect his sprinkler system to your home.”
- “I like Tim Walz a lot. It is imperative to acknowledge that J.D. Vance is a ‘good person.'”
- “The person who will assist you in carrying your items to your car is Tim Walz. The person who left you a letter for parking a half inch over the queue is J.D. Vance.”
- And lastly, “Women would pick Tim Walz over the bear.” When ladies discuss “picking the bear,” they are talking about J.D. Vance.”
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